30th Birthday reminds me of Xmas 2007

I turn 30 today. One would not think that a number can be so important. but it's not only a number, it's a reminder of where you are in life.

Today made me think of Xmas 2007. That year I had just moved into my apartment, I finally had unpacked and was proud of where I had been and how far I had come. But also, that year, I was alone for the holidays. I had $9.87 in the bank which was enough to buy me a small piece of deli ham, a sweet potatoe and a slice of cheesecake from Target - my Yule dinner. I had no internet yet, and drove 20 minutes to the nearest Kinkos to realize that even they close. I remember how the streets of Tampa seemed so quiet on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day was even quieter.

But even though I was alone and it was mildly depressing, it doesn't compare to today. Looking back, that was the best holiday I ever had. I caught up on sewing projects, watched old VHS that I had not seen in years (I also had no cable), worked on my book (probably the first time I pulled it out in 2 years) and enjoyed my little library that I created from the predesignated dining room area. I sat out on that massive balcony and drank tea, listening to the rustling of the oak trees while the radio played Christmas tunes in the background.

That calmness and tranquility was something I had sought for and finally found.

Today, I am far from that balcony. My library sits in boxes in a storage unit. I live in an 8x10 box where no music or singing is allowed. And I work part-time at minimum wage. I AM happy to have a job. A very good one, in fact. I AM lucky to not be homeless but its not where I ever imagined myself at the age of 30.

My birthday greetings mostly came in the form of SPAM bots and automatically generated messages instead of people. I did get one early Bday wish from a friend. Thank you. This year I received two cards - one from my aunt and the other from my mother. My sister called yesterday and got the boys to wish me a Happy Birthday. Even though Aiden thought it was his birthday all over again. :)


Well, Happy Birthday to me. Welcome to the age where the younger coworkers think you are snobby and not hip and you are too young for the older coworkers to take seriously. :/

German Makes Me Think of Alice

It has been a productive couple of weeks. What started out as mere whimsical resolutions seem to turn into concrete stone. Always a good thing.

1. Getting healthy: not merely just weight loss. Anyone can do that. I started this wonderful transition in May 2007 after 3 light bulbs went off at the same time. Today, I am 100 lbs down and 20 more away from my goal. maybe numbers but my health has increased significantly. No more tendonitis, no more embarrassing smelly skin issues/irritations (I seriously believed I had leprosy). My asthma is nearly inexsistant. No more tiredness or fatigue. And I can sleep. Best of all, the female parts are working. Last year, I gained some of the weight back after a back/shoulder injury, lost the numbers and went down a few inches. Towards then end of the year, it was just inches - and you know what? That's fine.

2. Lernen Deutsch. Ernshaft!: I had the awesome privilege of learning German while on one of my 90 stays in Switzerland. Only A1 but it was awesome. It helped as i traveled alone often. Able to hold basic crude conversations with people expanded my experience. I am a fool to let that opportunity go to waste. My husband found Deutsch-Welle. They have a Sprachkurs for A1, A2, B1 and then, they have another set for B2. Its online, interactive and so far, I am enjoying it. DW-TV shows programs from Euromaxx, Dw-TV news and others programs and you can subscribe to their YouTube account and they sent you news and videos 3x a day to view. Then I started reading what was on Yahoo.de keeping to the less complicated subjects like - so no politics and economy. I need my sister to find me 2 books to send. I hope to be able to dedicate 30min daily.

3. I want my Masters: it's been 6 years since my Bachelors and I am in a good job and a good place to consider thinking about it again. I just pray that the money will come from somewhere. After spending feeling blessed that an academic advisor was willing to waste an hour knowing that I want to not attend their community college; she helped me understand the process into going back to school. I checked out from my library the GRE study guide for 2012 and pulled my VIP status and yoinked the always-checked-out 2012 scholarship bible. I will start looking through those Monday. My goal is to take the GRE in the next 8 months.

4. Manuscript: After 15 years of these people living in my head, the first part of this universe is almost at an end. Honestly, I never believed it would be brought to life in text. I had concluded that they would just stay in my head. I look forward to the road ahead for this journey. A new and uncharted experience that almost scares the living day-lights out of me. I am waiting to hear word from my sister if she read 3/3. The ending was something I struggled with for a year.

Last night, my husband and I stood at Reepicheep's grave. I had planted a lovely pink flowering bush where she was buried. I figure the color was appropriate since she did die from mammary tumors. I was talking to her - she filled my lonely hours when I was single.

Then after my German lessons this morning, I was reading an article on Yahoo.de about body weight and models. I learned two new words (amongst many unknown ones). Both are adjectives: mollig = plump, dumpy (if referring to bedding = snug, cozy) and mager= skinny, thin.

Made my think of a character in my book. She once started off as a fun character and had suddenly become a more prominent background character, whom wants more face in my stories. I fleshed out a stunning background for her back in 2007 while on a plane ride to Switzerland. During that time, I made a small layout of a story, just for her. I based her personality off of Justin (my very first rat who was much too intelligent to be a normal smart rat). I jokingly used to say that Justin was the incarnate of a great mathematician and architect. I turned that mathematician into Alice. Weird, quirky and does not look like everybody else. Royalty that lives in the boonies. She was raised by German nobility. When I looked up the word, mollig. I thought of her.

And it made the hamster wheel turn even more as I began to think of a lot more things.

Post New Year Wishes

I honestly have no idea how anybody makes time to sit online and blog. :) I suddenly think about, "Oh! I have not posted anything in a week!" and yet there are folks who have kids and full time jobs and school AND still live online. I hope the kids are being fed. :/

Life has been busy, I cannot believe that it's already the first week of 2012. Cooking, sewing, being sick, couponing, editing, editing, editing and did I mention, editing? And this is not including work and my half of the house chores. I surprise myself that I actually sleep 8 hours a night.

Work has been going well. No complaints there. Marriage life is really goo too. No major complaints there either.

I sent of my 3/3 to my sister and I am taking a much needed mental break (I sent my characters on a winter vacation to Crete - where one of my characters live. They can all party with her for a while and leave me alone!!) from my story for a few weeks to focus on sewing. It's kinda taking up space - so it needs to go. ;) Also, it feels good to catch up on my reading. I have checked out two science fiction books and one young adult novel that I am looking forward to enjoying.

The best part about finishing the sewing is that it requires delivery to Port St. Lucie (an hour away). Which means passing through the town of Hobe Sound. Where my Library Director had informed me of this farmer's market where you can buy fresh beans including my husbands favorite - fava beans!

I smell a mini day trip in the near future!

Happy 2012 alle!

Sick for Christmas, Baking Love and Sending a Character to the Bench

Well, I hope that everyone had a wonderful Holiday!

So some winter blessings to all my friends and family (they celebrate these) (in chronological order): Happy Hanukkah, Merry Yule, Happy Yalda Night and Merry Christmas!!

I spent my holiday sick. I am sure a lot of other people did. :) But I found the energy to happily make my super tender ham, my cheesy potato bread, my roasted potatoes, salad, steamed carrots and a homemade cranberry Nantucket (like a cranberry "pie"). Everything was devoured.

The best thing my husband ever told me was when I unveiled the ham (now mind you, he does not consume pork, coming from a culture where it was not available and believed to be "dirty"), he looked at it for a while and suddenly said in his serious voice; "My Honey, it's beautiful! Like something from a food magazine!" It was followed by kisses. I love my hams too, tender and buttery. :)

Luckily, I had today off again, I return back to work tomorrow. So I slept in. Not by choice but because I could not wake up. My body was like, "You aint goin' anywhere!! Muhahahahaa!"

I had a strange moment last night while I was laying down next to my husband watching tv (so rare for me!); I nearly fell asleep! It was only 10pm. I was dragging as I brushed my teeth and I was fading fast as my head hit the pillow. Next thing I know, I was consciously dreaming about being back in the Redwood Forest in Northern California.

I had a realization, pertaining to my story (of which I had taken a break from while I was ill), I realized that a character I had originally deemed to be a mentor for my heroine has to go! It was weird conversation in my half-sleep stupor with myself. Why did he have to go? I've planned him as a supporting character for decades!!

The reason was simple: I built up another character (unknowingly) who believes in the same principles as this guy. This other character has told me that he is willing to stick around for the long haul.

Ergo: Sorry buddy (the original one), ideally, way back when, you were needed. Chad has taken your place.


On a more positive note, my sister is awesome.  I worked on that empty space in 1/3 and after her poor review, we talked about where my heroine was at this time, then I adjusted it. Now it's on the right direction.

2/3 Critique & Singer Island Love

I know it's been a while since I have blogged. Life = busy. :)

Spent a great weekend with my husband in Singer Island, again. We mostly talked about our future and where we hope to be one day in our professional, personal and spiritual lives. We also went thrift store hunting. Sadly, the weekend was mostly cold and rainy, but that is to be expected. It's that time of year.

My sister got through my 2/3. I thank every second of her super busy life to read and consider how it can be better. I apparently misunderstood a crit of 1/3 and redid a section to which she replied, "Why did you change that! Its so much worse now! I liked that section." OOOOOPPPPSSSS! :) I did like one thing I changed but I think I will expand on another part a bit more, make it more personable.

So far, the pace is comfortable, she actually wanted more of a section that I thought was not as interesting. She also liked my letters. We discussed length and wording, and came to a conclusion: as the heroine gets older, her letters will be longer with mature wording and thought. I concur.

She was confused with 2 subjects, unsure as to why a certain character HATES my heroine and more clarification of the levels of society is needed. Apparently, 3/3 is highly welcomed.

I still have some things to work out and will get that to her soon. Holiday break is coming up and I have a mountain of sewing projects. So I will focus on the 2/3 crit and the 1/3 goof up.

All good. :)

Thanksgiving = forgotten descriptions and couponing

Well, I hope everyone had an excellent Thanksgiving.

We had a Thanksgiving lunch due to the fact my husband had to work at 3am, which was fine. I drove him because i knew he would be dying when I picked him up later that day. It was just depressing to see people not able to spend times with their families so they could buy "stuff". Nice to see that junk is more important than family in the modern world.

The only thing my mom and I purchased in tandem was a set of earrings for my sister's birthday, which I ended up buying later in the day (the sale was still going on) and a sweater.

The best part of my Thanksgiving was getting a call from my sister to tell me that she was able to find cheaper turkeys in Germany - 3 kilos for 12 euros. and that she used our family recipe and attempted a homemade sweet potato pie. :)

She did tell me that she had the week off so she finally read my 1/3. She pointed out some things that I failed to realize, one being that i neglected to describe a character completely. She told me, "yeah, Fred is obviously a very unlikable character and a jerk but I have no idea what he looks like. Did you do that on purpose?"

I didn't, it just never occurred to me to describe him. In my mind I see him clearly.  But luckily, i found a perfect spot to add a little description, an observation made by my heroine.

I finally got my 2/3 refined. I took out all of the stupid redundancies, repeated motions, words and the hundreds of "suddenly" that just paused the story. It was not necessary. I also moved some things around. I resent it to my writing friend, telling her to just delete the older version. My sister also got the 2/3, she was interested in reading more.

Now the best part of my weekend, COUPONING!
My husband bought Perry Ellis Portfolio slacks (we went to 4 stores to find his length! I married a giant!!), $70, after reduction + sale + coupon = $4.99. Oh yeah, baby! Saved 65% at Target on toothpaste, tooth brushes and batteries. My husband and I have mouthcare for 2 years AND we did not need to compromise on our needs - for me Sensodyne, and for him, Crest non-minty toothpaste! After sale + target coupons + manufacturer coupons, this was what we got free: 1/2 a tube of Sensodyne, 1 tube of Crest toothpaste, 3 Crest Pro Health toothbrushes and Energizer Lithium batteries. All for the cost of sale priced 1 1/2 "tubes" of Sensodyne + 1 tube of sale priced Crest toothpaste. And at CVS; CVS rewards bucks + coupon + sale on Mucinex, the savings covered the cost of my dad's medicine.

My husband and I were high-fiving all afternoon. It's the best high ever, knowing that you are saving money!

Titles, beasts and laundry

Pretty much explains my week, especially my day.

I played with working titles in my mind this week after foregoing the original title. It was the title from 15 years ago and now that the story has grossly developed into a universe of its own, the old title has became moot. A year ago, there has been no title, then I suddenly had one pop into my mind, "Letters to Samantha" ....only to look through Amazon and find that another book has been named that. Lame.

It's aggravating because the title does encompass the mindset of the heroine. She writes letters to her only biological sister whom she has not seen since she was removed from her aunt's home. Knowing that her sister is alive keeps her going. She has no other family.

Now I need to think of something else. Bah. But I still have plenty of time.

My poor husband, unable to process anything in English that is not related to technology or computers or programming, cannot understand English fiction. He cannot comprehend anything I or anyone writes unless it in his native tongue. So I felt bad cornering him blabbing over something in my plot that has been a thorn in my side. but I had no one else to talk it out-loud to. He's a good listener. :)

15 years is a long time to have a group of people lay around and eat your food and use your electricity. So i have thought about every scenario numerous times, had my characters dictate to me where they want to go and what they want to do. I have no control over them. I can just throw things in their path and they can shake their fists and cuss me out.

As I was developing my universe and the creatures' mythos, I was sitting at a sushi bar in Houston, Texas drawing on table napkins - developing my governmental system and politics along with my ex. You have to realize that we took a break from visiting post-Katrina Louisiana, with me taking photos of what a post-apocalyptic world would look like. Honestly, it felt like the world has ended there. Every single thing that we take for granted; phones, internet, feminine products, clean water - was gone. There were not even birds in the skies. It was an eerie experience but one that I will cherish forever.  

As I was saying, I was developing their politics when I realized that I needed to develop more, who these creatures were. They only go by what the humans call them, a horrible mis-reference but they could care less. They're are over dealing with petty bickering with the humans. In fact, they kinda like the mis-reference, because when a human sees their true form, its a hundred times worse than what they can ever dream of.

That thought seemed to had disappeared over the years, maybe I touched on it every once and a while, and suddenly as i was coming up with an outline for B2 after making a timeline, I suddenly realize that my heroine, who is booksmart, catches irregularities in the translations of their ancient texts that had been translated into English. And begins to wonder, what did she give her life away to?

Then I was like, "dummy, she would have found this out in B1 when she began doing her research with Bill and especially when she gets Peter's old library."

Now I get to go back and expand these findings. Now I have to hope that she will be too busy to care about it right now. *crosses fingers* In fact I need her to not care about it right now.....

Note to self: "brush up on French grammar tomorrow."

My sister informed me that she recicved my 1/3 and will be reading it this week since she has the time off for Thanksgiving. I look forward to hearing her viewpoint. My sister and I have been major opposites in just about everything. Like me, she knows what she likes to read and has an opinion about everything.

Aww! She's thinking of going to Austria in February to a retreat with the kids. I hate snow and could care less about the skiing part but how awesome would it be to sit by the fire and write with a hot cup of tea, writing,  surrounded by snow covered beauty in the mountains!!! Why don't I have money? I don't shop for anything or go anywhere! I have enough time to change my last name in my passport... February is cheap to fly to Switzerland..... ;_;

Anyways, before I start moping, I am thinking of biting my nails and going to a writer's group for critiquing purposes. I'm just really freaking shy. But I am realizing that it has major purpose. To help me get better.

It's late and I'm tired. Luckily I work at the library in the evening on Mondays.